I have to say it

Ready for this one???? We are moving again. Yes, that's right....... again. This STINKS!!!!!!!!! We had terrible movers (ripped couch, broken bed, broken other things, ruined furniture, ruined food, and sooo much more) who won't return our phone calls or emails. We are living among boxes and have dirty water, no not just dirty, bad bacteria. We actually had no water at one point. We spent 3 hours and $23 at the laundry mat today. The lady who owns the house that we were going to live in is now pissy. PISSY????? Dirty water - small children....Pissy?? I am about to loose my mind. We found a new house to rent today and hopefully will be able to move in this week. She has decided she doesn't even want us to stay here until we can move so we will be heading to a hotel for the next few days. Hotels are real inexpensive huh??? Especially when you need a refrigerator and microwave and have a dog. We have one vehicle so the boys and I will have to stay in the room the entire day while Joey is at work. On the plus side...... I can finally give my kids showers instead of sponge baths with gallons of spring water and they won't have to ask if it's okay to flush or wash their hands. We will do school stuff and go for walks in the parking lot. Awesome! I know I'm complaining, but I have totally had it. Between the job loss, miscarriage, being in separate states for over a month, horrible movers and trying to live like this, I am emotionally spent. Dishes with no water...... sucks. We have had to buy so many jugs of water in the past week. It's almost 2:30 and I can't relax enough to go to sleep. My chest has been bothering me for the last month or so and we don't have health insurance yet so I just try to slow down and not get to hot. It doesn't feel like asthma, I'm not sure what it is. It would be so nice if we had friends in this state. I've got to find some peace soon.

So we are in New Jersey.......

I honestly don't even want to post about our move right now because it hasn't gone smoothly to say the very least. So we have moved, but I will wait to post about it until I have something better to say. Lets just talk about something else .........................
My sister and I have agreed we would like to do a handmade Christmas this year for each others families. We are going to swap gifts at Thanksgiving to avoid having to ship them. I have started a few fun projects but I am very behind. I can't share because my sister obviously would see, but I will share pictures after Thanksgiving. I am so ready to be settled and get to work on them again. I also want to get the boys school work started back up and get back in the kitchen. I haven't been cooking and I am feeling major withdrawals. I guess right now the thing I want the most in sleep and something clean. Anything........myself, the boys, clothes, water, house..... anything.

Breathing.......

I am feeling sad lately. There seems to be lots of baby talk and new babies around me. I know there is nothing I can do to bring the baby back and all that stuff, but I can't shake the quiet emptiness. Most of the time I am okay. Other times I get the lump in my throat that I have to smile and act "normal" around. Sometimes I just cry. I can't help but think of how big we would both be at this point and the plans that I had for us that will never be. I know.... I can have another baby, but it doesn't take away the hurt. Nothing does and I guess it never will. I will have a house update soon. We did get the one I talked about and the movers will be here in two days. It's a big beautiful house. We are so happy to have finally found our "home".

Waiting.......

This is the house....no. This is the house.....no. This one is definitely the house.......um no. I love being at home. My home is truly where my heart is. I stay home sometimes for a week or two at a time and it doesn't bother me a bit. Then I go to the grocery store. Yes, people make comments and tell me I need to get out more. I'm fine. So, finding the right house is so important to me. We have been through so many and we may be done, but I hate to say anything yet. The taxes on the farm house were 12k a year......thinking?? Yes, that would be $1,000 a month added to your house payment. So we decided against it. There are a few things that I want in a house: wood stove/wood burning fireplace (for heating), yard to play in and have a garden, a clothesline, and a decent size kitchen. I spend so much time in the kitchen so I need space to cook and store everything. The fewer bathrooms the better. I don't like cleaning bathrooms. That all said I obviously don't like moving. It turns my everything totally upside down. We have moved three times in 6 years. Each time it has been for a job improvement for Joey and I have had beautiful brand new houses, but seriously........it screws with me bad. We need to wait until our house sells to buy another so my ideal situation is to rent a house that we could buy when ours sells. One move. It may not work out that way with this house we are looking at right now. It's so great that I decided that I would just cherish the time we could live in it. We hope to know tomorrow. This is our house in Georgia. Don't you want to buy it?? Someone you know that wants to move to Georgia???

I am still alive

So the packing continues, but the house hunting has halted. As soon as I laid eyes on a renovated 100 year old farm house, I didn't want to see anything else. It's just beautiful. About an acre of land complete with garden, clothes line, huge chestnut tree, and lots of room to run. The important things have been updated and rest has been left alone. I could sit and dream about the house and the life we would have there for hours. The house is for sale so we are trying to convince the owners to rent to us until our house sells. They've just got to. It's perfect. Joey is home for the weekend and my parents are also coming. Baseball tournaments start this weekend for both boys. Max turned 11 on the thirteenth so we will invite a few friends over to celebrate. Sometimes I can't believe I have been a mother for so long, a third of my life. I just love it. I was scared by the thought of being pregnant after the miscarriage, but now I ......... well I'm not scared any more. I want more babies someday. I guess it's meant for each of my kids to be 6 years apart. Only time will tell. Our CSA started back up this week after a few weeks break to plant for the winter season. I love having all of the fresh veggies to choose from and the giggles from the boys as they scurry away with what they have swiped from the counter. I will miss the winter growing season when we finally move back up north. I am going to can as much as possible to stretch or fresh vegetables into the winter. Other than that I can't wait to bask in the beauty of having four wonderfully distinct seasons. I am going to take those thoughts with me back to the boxes. It will be so nice on the flip side.

Patience

Part of Joeys going away meal. He is getting used to New Jersey and I am packing and trying to get things ready for the boys and I to go also. There are so many wonderful old farm houses there but they are all just a little to far away from Joeys work. I have to keep reminding myself that we are only renting until our house sells and we find the "perfect" house there. Patience and hope....... and and the bright side...... It'll all work out, it always does.

This week

Night games in jackets watching our favorite pitcher. One of the many characters that comes to visit us daily.
Park dates with friends.
Decorating cookies that we promptly threw away after the boys went to bed.
And some more canning to round out the week.

Boxes and boxes, and more boxes being filled which isn't much fun,

but a wonderful opportunity to continue my quest to simplify.